1. The unpronounceables
Okay, some of these seem like they can’t possibly be for real. We’ll let you be the judge of these unpronounceables:
- “Jkmn – pronounced Noel (cause it’s part of the alphabet with no ‘L’)”
- “Ka-a (pronounced Kadasha). I wanted to say is ‘that’s actually kahyphona not kadasha'”
- “I never taught him personally, but I ran across a young gent at a former school one day and asked him what his name was and whose class he was in. He said ‘Anfernee and I’m in Ms (whoever’s) class.’ I said ‘Ok, Anthony. Go there now straight away please.’ His response? ‘My name’s Anfernee, not Anthony.’ I checked the roll. It was indeed Anfernee.”
- “Working in childcare I have come across a few, but the weirdest for me was Axshin pronounced (Action).”
- “CVIIIlyn – thats an eight in the middle in roman numerals- it’s Caitlyn!”
2. Bad habits!
Some parents loved their bad habits so much, they named their kids after them. Gee thanks, Mum!
- “A midwife told me a lady had twin boys and named them Benson and Hedges. They were [the mother’s] fave brand of smokes.”
- “My son was in prep with a girl called Tequila.”
- “Meth! It is an abbreviation of an Indian name I think. But sounds extremely weird when the kinder teachers say ‘Meth Meth!'”
- “My husband went to school with twins named Gin and Tonic!”
Sometimes names got a little lost in translation:
- “My nan talks about a distant relative who named her daughter Chlorine – said she saw it on a bottle in the hospital and loved it …”
- “Kerosene, pronounced Caressanay. Apparently they saw it at Bunnings and loved the word without knowing what it was.”
- “Chlamydia. Apparently the midwives tried to dissuade her, but she told them no one would know that it was the name of a venereal disease.”
Listen to Kinderling Conversation: The meaning of motherhood
4. Not planning ahead
And at other times, parents perhaps haven’t thought the whole thing through. Erm …
- “I had a teacher in high school called Miss Kew. Her first name was Barbara but her friends and peers called her Barbie… Barbie Kew.”
- “My husband worked with a man called Stiff Wang.” #SureJan
- “I worked in a hospital and this little old lady came in quite sick and her name was MISS FAIRLY CROOK… True true story.”
- “There is a man named Harry Butt that works at our local Ski Resort"
5. A little too sing-song
Sometimes it’s a total Dr Seuss gone wrong situation:
- “I was in hospital when I had my first daughter, Lauren. There was a woman in the next bed who had a baby boy, they called him Warren. His last name was McSporran. Warren McSporran. I used to joke that should Lauren and Warren grow up and marry they would be Lauren and Warren McSporran. It never happened thank God!”
- “When I registered my twins, I was told someone called their twins Hunnykins and Bunnykins (boy + girl)!”
- And other times? It’s just blatant silliness on the part of mum and dad …
- “Indacara, because they didn’t make it into the hospital and their daughter was born in the back seat of their car!”
This post originally appeared on Babyology.
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