WTF??? Avoid these 5 baby names at all costs

Kinderling News & Features

1. The unpronounceables

Okay, some of these seem like they can’t possibly be for real. We’ll let you be the judge of these unpronounceables:

  • “Jkmn – pronounced Noel (cause it’s part of the alphabet with no ‘L’)”
  • “Ka-a (pronounced Kadasha). I wanted to say is ‘that’s actually kahyphona not kadasha'”
  • “I never taught him personally, but I ran across a young gent at a former school one day and asked him what his name was and whose class he was in. He said ‘Anfernee and I’m in Ms (whoever’s) class.’ I said ‘Ok, Anthony. Go there now straight away please.’ His response?  ‘My name’s Anfernee, not Anthony.’ I checked the roll. It was indeed Anfernee.”
  • “Working in childcare I have come across a few, but the weirdest for me was Axshin pronounced (Action).”
  • “CVIIIlyn – thats an eight in the middle in roman numerals- it’s Caitlyn!”


2.  Bad habits!

Some parents loved their bad habits so much, they named their kids after them. Gee thanks, Mum!

  • “A midwife told me a lady had twin boys and named them Benson and Hedges. They were [the mother’s] fave brand of smokes.”
  • “My son was in prep with a girl called Tequila.”
  • “Meth! It is an abbreviation of an Indian name I think. But sounds extremely weird when the kinder teachers say ‘Meth Meth!'”
  • “My husband went to school with twins named Gin and Tonic!”

3. WTF

Sometimes names got a little lost in translation:

  • “My nan talks about a distant relative who named her daughter Chlorine – said she saw it on a bottle in the hospital and loved it …”
  • “Kerosene, pronounced Caressanay. Apparently they saw it at Bunnings and loved the word without knowing what it was.”
  • “Chlamydia. Apparently the midwives tried to dissuade her, but she told them no one would know that it was the name of a venereal disease.” 


Listen to Kinderling Conversation: The meaning of motherhood

4. Not planning ahead

And at other times, parents perhaps haven’t thought the whole thing through. Erm …

  • “I had a teacher in high school called Miss Kew. Her first name was Barbara but her friends and peers called her Barbie… Barbie Kew.”
  • “My husband worked with a man called Stiff Wang.” #SureJan
  • “I worked in a hospital and this little old lady came in quite sick and her name was MISS FAIRLY CROOK… True true story.”
  • “There is a man named Harry Butt that works at our local Ski Resort"

5. A little too sing-song

Sometimes it’s a total Dr Seuss gone wrong situation:

  • “I was in hospital when I had my first daughter, Lauren. There was a woman in the next bed who had a baby boy, they called him Warren. His last name was McSporran. Warren McSporran. I used to joke that should Lauren and Warren grow up and marry they would be Lauren and Warren McSporran. It never happened thank God!”
  • “When I registered my twins, I was told someone called their twins Hunnykins and Bunnykins (boy + girl)!”
  • And other times? It’s just blatant silliness on the part of mum and dad …
  • “Indacara, because they didn’t make it into the hospital and their daughter was born in the back seat of their car!”

#HeadDesk #We’reOut!

This post originally appeared on Babyology.