Since 2014, mum and writer Sabrina Rogers-Anderson has been sharing her lists of the best bogan baby names and she’s just dropped her Top 20 for 2017 on the Kidspot website.
As we’ve come to expect, it’s a colourful tongue-in-cheek collection of names that often defies spelling, explanation and common sense.
Can’t pick one name? Why not smash two together. Hybrid names are especially popular this year in Sabrina’s list, with the likes of Jarren (Jarrod and Darren), Kendrew (Ken and Andrew), Kiranda (Kim and Miranda), Zyler (Zac and Tyler) and Vejonica (Veronica and er, Jon?) all scoring a spot.
“Jarrod and Darren walk into a bar,” writes Sabrina. “After a few beers, they can’t even pronounce their own names anymore, so they collectively refer to themselves as “Jarren” through intoxicated hiccups. It’s all fun and games until someone names an actual human Jarren.”
Of course, there’s kids named after alcohol – hello Bacardi (rum) and Alize (cognac) – as well as mangled new spellings of classic names. Say hello to Harisyn (aka Harrison), Jakxsen (aka Jackson), Wyliumm (for William) and Feebi (Phoebe).
“I can’t even look at this tragic massacre without hyperventilating, so I’m going to spell it out for everyone (H-A-R-R-I-S-O-N) and move right along,” writes Sabrina about her thoughts on Jakxsen.
The full list of names includes:
Alize (pronounced Ah-lee-zay)
Enivid (Divine backwards)
Check out the website for Sabrina's book The Little Book Of Bogan Baby Names.
Win a Little Fish prize pack from Walker Books!
The brand-new book series from Lucy Cousins, the creator of Maisy.
Pissed-off Peppa: Our favourite pink pig has new-found attitude
Suddenly Peppa’s gone all sassy.
Surfing champion Bethany Hamilton gives birth to second child
An adorable new addition to her family trio.
Ditch the chocolate! Try making these cute bunny bags this Easter
Want to avoid a chocolate coma this year? Make these and fill with other special goodies instead!
14 crazy gender reveal cakes
Because apparently boy and girl colours are still a thing.
Lego to use ‘sustainable’ plastic in their toy bricks
The toy giant's getting a little bit greener.
Getting to know: Meshel Laurie
The author, radio star and podcaster reveals what she loves about being a parent.
Getting to know: Sarah Hunstead from CPR Kids
One of our wonderful panellists on The Parent Panel.