If you've struggled with breastfeeding, this recent post by Vampire Diaries star, Claire Holt will really hit home.
This week Claire Holt shared a very relatable and very teary image of herself holding her newborn little boy, it sparked lots of important discussion about postpartum mums and the “fourth trimester”.
“I’m falling short”
Claire and hubby Andrew Joblon’s baby, James, was born in late March and she’s been sharing the early weeks of her new mum life on Instagram ever since. There are some incredibly beautiful photos of the couple and their little boy, but also some very real chatter about the steep learning curve becoming a parent can be.
“This was me yesterday after struggling through a tough feed,” Claire wrote in a recent post showing her teary self holding gorgeous James. “Exhausted, in pain, feeling defeated. I’ve had many moments like this since my son arrived. My only concern is making sure his needs are met, yet I often feel that I’m falling short.”
View this post on Instagram
This was me yesterday after struggling through a tough feed. Exhausted, in pain, feeling defeated. I’ve had many moments like this since my son arrived. My only concern is making sure his needs are met, yet I often feel that I’m falling short. Motherhood is an overwhelming combination of bliss and self-doubt. I try to remind myself that I can’t be perfect. I can’t be everything for everyone. I just have to do my best and take it one hour at a time. Thankfully, this little guy is worth every second of struggle. Mamas out there - tell me I’m not alone??
A post shared by Claire Holt (@claireholt) on
Claire went on to talk about how blinking hard it is to look after a little baby, guessing that she wasn’t the only one finding some days a blur of exhaustion and emotion.
“Motherhood is an overwhelming combination of bliss and self-doubt,” the new mum continued. “I try to remind myself that I can’t be perfect. I can’t be everything for everyone. I just have to do my best and take it one hour at a time.”
“Thankfully, this little guy is worth every second of struggle. Mamas out there – tell me I’m not alone??”
“Lifting and healing the mother”
Lots of followers responded in Claire’s comments, detailing similar feelings and sharing supportive messages. And then Snuggle Me Organic founder Mia Carr – herself a mum of seven – shared Claire’s post penning her own emotional caption about who and what matters once a baby has arrived.
Mia’s words called for more care for new mums and an important focus-shuffle.
“Let go of the baby, as sweet as he is, and focus in on lifting and healing the MOTHER,” Mia wrote. “The mother is not meant to be an afterthought, but is the source of light for this little one; she must be gently tended.”
“It’s her body that fuels and must be even and in good balance. It’s her confidence that will keep everyone steady and must be strong and unquestioned. Do not worry yourself with the baby, as the mother is equipped to handle him. Worry yourself on whether the mother is full so she can be everything she is designed to be.”
A mum is born
Mia’s words have struck a chord because women so very, very often don’t get the time they need to recover or the care to ensure they thrive.
In fact, many (most?) women simply survive these early weeks and months of motherhood, eventually coming up for air at some point when they’ve toughened up.
Both Claire and Mia’s words highlight the important shift that happens when a baby is born. A mum is born, and she may feel as fragile as her newborn as she adjusts to her new life and learns how to care for her baby. Now we need to shift perceptions about that fourth trimester and prioritise mums’ care as well as precious newborns.
This article originally appeared on Babyology.
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