Science says 'dad beards' are even dirtier than dog fur

Kinderling News & Features

Love a man with a beard? This might make you see things differently ...

If shaving, along with sleep, went out the window for your fella when bubs came along, then he is most likely sporting a ‘dad beard’. 

A dad beard isn’t manicured (he doesn’t have time for that!) but it is scruffy and sexy and well, thankfully fashionable at a time when workplaces no longer care if men don’t shave.

But now a study has proven that beards are more filthy than dog’s fur and while we are laughing out loud, we’re also vomiting a little in our mouths.

Not so sexy now.

SO GROSS!

The study by Swiss researchers found that beards are actually pretty gross.

In fact, they have more bacteria than an itchy dog with fleas who has been rolling in gawd knows what at the park.

To come to this ‘pass me a vomit bag’ discovery, the researchers from the Hirslanden Clinic in Switzerland swabbed the beards of 18 men and the necks of 30 dogs of various breeds.

They were surprised to discover that many of the dogs had lower levels of microbes harbouring in their fur than the men had on their hairy faces. 

The study found all of the bearded men, aged from 18 to 76, showed high microbial counts, but only 23 out of 30 dogs had high counts. The remainder had moderate levels.

Alarmingly, almost half of the men were sporting bacteria in their beards that was considered hazardous to HUMAN HEALTH!

Now, who else is gagging?

The study

The scientists didn’t set out to make this discovery, though.

They were actually trying to find out if humans could pick up a dog-borne disease from an MRI scanner that was also being used for veterinary exams.

But, no, they found hairy men are more filthy than the dogs.

After the MRI exams of the dogs, the scanners were disinfected and showed a ‘significantly’ lower bacteria count compared with levels seen when used by humans.

Dad beards must be worse

Now I am not a scientist, but I wonder if the results would have been even worse if the 18 guys they swabbed were dads with young kids (and who knows, some of them may have been), because I think it is a fair hypothesis to assume that these particular beards would be even grosser.

Think stale baby vomit.

Dirty little fingers playing with daddy’s beard.

A toilet training toddler rumbling with his dad and grabbing his beard.

A sick, snotty preschooler curled up on her daddy and being soothed by his kisses.

Etc.

In defence of beards

That said, I don’t think we should be asking our hairy men to pick up the old shaver again in reaction to this ‘study’. 

The truth is, if someone swabbed our greasy mum-buns, they would find the same results, if not worse. 

And there was that study a while back that suggested our smartphones are laden with faecal matter thanks to us scrolling through social media on the loo.

In short, humans are gross and humans with little humans are probably even grosser. 

But maybe after reading this, you might want to ask your man to wash his beard a bit more regularly. 

Those things, albeit sexy, are bacteria traps.

This article originally appeared on Babyology.