We're always quick to celebrate the big occasions in life, but to truly create happy kids, we also need to celebrate the little things, writes Lucy Kippist.
I listened to a talk the other day by a motivational speaker who had a message so simple in its wisdom that it resonated with me for hours afterwards.
He asked: “Did the sun come up today? Then THAT is a good day? Why, because if the sun didn’t come up today then every living thing would die within 18 hours. So as long as we avoid that, everything else in life will be manageable, recoverable and a reason for celebration.”
Celebrating the ordinary (or the stuff that didn’t go wrong) is one of the best lessons we can teach our kids.
At least according to cognitive psychologist and author Mary Widdicks, who says there are great benefits in teaching our kids how to celebrate the days that just work out okay – because it rewards the part of the brain that produces positive feelings.
She told The Washington Post:
“Maybe the Mad Hatter was onto something with his un-birthday idea. Every day is a cause for celebration, even small achievements are worth commemorating… Research has found that humans experience and recall negative emotions with a magnitude of about five times that of positive emotions. This means for every negative experience, we’d need five positive ones to balance out the feelings … Celebrating small accomplishments is one of the most effective ways to bolster positive feelings and increase overall happiness.”
Mary went on to say that parents have a responsibility to fine tune this part of their children’s brain by teaching them to focus on the parts of their day that, overall, went well.
Now, that doesn’t mean you have to throw a party every night! Unless you want to.
Time to celebrate!
Celebrating can be as simple as mentioning the event or task around the dinner table, or a literal high five while you’re tucking them in for the night.
Did someone say thank you to the lady at the shops? Tell your kid how nice that was!
Did your little one eat all their vegetables for dinner? Give them a super big squeeze and mention how healthy that will make them.
Did your big one help your little one when he fell off the swing at the park? That right there is cause for celebration. Let them know how great that was to see.
If you can get to five items every day, then you’ll be well on your way to increasing your little one’s happiness brain receptors – naturally.
As Mary says:
“Pick your favourite celebratory word, pat yourself on the back, jump up and down, pump your fist in the air. Sing. Dance. Look like a fool and laugh at yourself. Do whatever it takes to remind your brain that sometimes life isn’t so bad.”
Life – what could be better than that?
This article originally appeared on Babyology.
Happy mama, happy family: How to find more joy as a parent
What's holding you back from being a better parent?
7 simple ways to celebrate and grow your shy child
Shyness really isn’t something that needs to be fixed, writes Dr Vanessa La Pointe.
The secret to a happy life as a working mum
How to make 'work' work now you're a mum.
Why raising resilient kids has nothing to do with tough love
Teaching resilience can be as simple as enjoying being with your child.
Is it so wrong to cuddle my babies to sleep every night?
I cuddle my little loves to sleep every night. But is that so bad?
"I stopped lamenting the way my husband parents, and I'm so much happier"
Not everyone does things the same way!
6 things kids need to be shown by their parents
"As much as they are sponges, they are mirrors!"
Exhausted mum fell asleep on the floor. Her husband's response was perfect.
Here's to team work!